July 16, 2011

Reflections on High School. 8.16.09.

Today while cleaning, I found my diploma under a few things on my desk. This led me to think about high school. People say that high school is one of the best times of your life. That might be true, but it's the worst too.

I think in ninth grade, I remember coming to school in tears because of something a sibling had said in an email. I wasn't supposed to see it, so I couldn't talk to my parents about it. I told my best friend and she listened. Crying it out and talking about it helped a lot.

I remember having a lot of problems with my biological dad as well. Maybe it's just because I can remember it more clearly. There was one time he came to our house drunk, and my parents were out shopping. That was a bit scary for me. I think one of my brothers might have been home as well. I wasn't exactly sure what to do, so I just called my parents to hurry up and get home. There were many times we were supposed to go see him, but he never showed up or called. One time I was forced to go, and I cried all the way there. I never want to go because he always smells of smoke and alcohol, plus he always gets into arguments with his girlfriend. Then half the time we don't know where he lives, or what his phone number is. I couldn't even tell him that I graduated until afterward. Finally, when he does call, someone always ends up annoyed or frustrated. One time he convinced my brother to see if he could move out with us and go move in with him. A lot of the time my mom will end up yelling at him.

I also had a breakup, or two. It was pretty bad, but it could have been worse. We're still friends now.

My grandma died my junior year. It was the first death that had really affected me. She had a stroke the day of Homecoming, and she died a few days later. It was really hard to believe she was gone at first. She had been getting better, and then she died. Things were tough.

I even made my fair share of bad choices. It was never about drugs or alcohol. Just grades. I didn't do so well my junior year, so I had to play catch up my senior year. Junior year was stressful all around.

I didn't get into my dream school, which was devastating at fist. I'm over it now. CWU is my home for at least the next four years. I'm completely fine with that. After school I can move anywhere I want, and maybe Bellingham is in my future.

To top everything off, I moved my senior year. Yeah, it really sucked. I think I've said that over and over again. I didn't get to graduate with my best friends. I didn't go to prom either. A while after school ended, we moved to Spokane.

I think it's safe to say that high school sucked. But it also rocked, and here's why:

I was able to go on a trip to Disneyland. Sure, it wasn't with my family. It was with the band, with my friends. That made it even better.

I had an amazing boyfriend. Sure, things never really worked out between us. But he was there for me a lot. He's part of the reason I'm the person I am today.

I always had the support system that I needed, whether it was my best friends, people from church, or other close friends. We've gone through a lot together. Hopefully we'll beat the statistics and stay friends.

I even gained family. Cousins have had adorable babies who are growing up fast. I found out I had a long lost uncle, who has a wife, kids, and grandkids. We've been able to see each other a few times since we found out. My big brother got married and had a little boy. I was able to meet him once, and I get to see pictures every now and then.

I was able to participate in many band things, like field marching, parades, and festivals. The RHS band won second place in KZOK's band competition. And don't forget about the PSD Marching Band Extravaganza.

I have also been able to somewhat get over my stage fright. I had a few solos in band. At the end of my senior year I was able to play all major scales in front of the class and teacher. I think I did pretty good. We were supposed to have them memorized and I did, that was the easy part. I even gave a speech. It wasn't in front of a lot of people, and it was all about myself, but it's one of the hardest things I've had to do. After completing Senior Boards, I felt like I could do anything.

Even though I did make bad choices my junior year, it did lead me to some good things. I met some awesome people because of those choices, and I have no regrets for what I did. Meeting those friends was totally worth it.

Moving did help me get my confidence back up. I was able to start over. Not many people get that chance.

Finally, I graduated. I'm in the proud class of 2009. I finally did it. Everything I went through for four years was totally worth it.

My good experiences totally out weigh all the bad ones. High school was one of the worst and best times of my life so far. The beginning of my freshman year, I was very shy. Throughout the years, I've become more outgoing. My self-confidence has always been pretty low. Now, it's quite higher, even if I still have my bad days.

Even though high school was hell for me on some days, I stuck it out. I don't think I ever wanted to drop out. For all you high schoolers out there, don't drop out. Don't give up. Believe me, you'll want to. Stick through it. Everything will be worth it when you are finally handed your diploma.

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