September 17, 2011

It's called growing up.


I miss a lot of people right now. I believe that God has this wonderful plan for us, for me, but sometimes I wonder why things happen. I've struggled with this for a while now. What was the point of moving to Puyallup? What was the point of moving to Spokane? What is so special about Ellensburg? Was my relationship with him just not meant to be? Was the timing just off? Why do my best friend and I have to be separated for such a long time? Why not Bellingham? What's the point of everything going on in my life now? 

Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm not thankful for some of the things that have happened since Everett, because I am. Because of a movie, I got to know this great guy a little better. Because of Puyallup, I met some amazing people. Because of Ellensburg, I've met some amazing people. Because of Spokane, I was able to see Sara Bareilles live! Because of distance, I've come to learn that I shouldn't take people for granted and that absence does make the heart grow fonder. Because of Facebook and my mom's help, I found some people who I never thought I would see again. Because of a terrible incident and the story of a friend, I figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life.  The two deaths in the family taught me that I shouldn't take my family for granted. I've learned that it's probably better for me to let God write my story, then for me to try to write my own without his guidance.

I've learned that I shouldn't let my past dictate what my future is going to be. It doesn't matter who my dad is, or what he's done, because I am not him. I am not going to make the same mistakes he has. I've learned that it's okay to be hurt, or overwhelmed, or scared. I've learned that it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to need someone else. It's okay to lean on someone's shoulder. It's okay to need a hug. I've learned that things will get better. I've learned that out of something awful, miracles can happen. I've learned that I'm not alone.

I've had my ups and downs, but so has everyone else. I can't wait for my future. I can't wait to see what crazy plans God has for me. I can't wait to see why it was so important that I chose psychology over education. I can't wait to meet my future husband, and my future kids. And even though I can't even imagine being this old, I can't wait to meet my grand-kids.

So here's to my old friends. And here's to new friends. Here's to the people who have made an impact on me. Here's to the future. Here's to all the wonderful things to come.

Edit: I have no idea where this picture came from, but if it's yours, let me know and I'll give you credit!

2 comments:

  1. It's always amazing to see someone turn the page and start writing a new chapter in their life :) You're an amazing, kind-hearted young lady Jackie and you know what? Try not to compare the past to the now or the future. Focus on the now because you never know if you'll be waking up tomorrow. Always live in today. That's what I've learned through my struggles and questions. In the end it is you who writes your story; God, friends, family, even random strangers might shed a little light on a grim situation but in the end it is YOU who makes the decisions to dwell in a thought or to take a deeper meaning to some simple words. :) Think about it, the mind is a powerful thing.

    "Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today”-Cherokee Proverb

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  2. Thanks for the words of wisdom! (:

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